nineteen years ago today!
And really, we're starting not to look like these people any more.......
No, really. The you-haven't-changed-a-bit?
Thanks, but there's middle aged, different looking staring back
from the mirror's reflection. You're too kind though. Ha.
You can't hit the nineteen year mark without lows amid the highs...
Yeah we've had those.
Plenty of 'em.
And thank God that we took our vows as a sacrament, because, well,
mercy, patience, partnership and never-giving-up.
This verse, read at our wedding mass, has
come to life for us countless times.
When choosing readings, I felt it a bit overdone, overused,
one of those everyone seems to have at their masses too...
especially as we tied the knot in the midst of a three year span of time where
seemingly all our friends were as well.
It was wedding mass after wedding mass and 1 Corinthians 13 seemed to get,
well, I hate to say it, but.....old.
Thankfully my husband, whose opinion I overruled with most wedding decisions,
either due to his indifference on "trivial" matters (his words)
or my insistence that hey-I've-been-planning-my-
wedding-since-I-was-eight-and-this-is-not-how-it-goes-hon....stuck to his guns
and vetoed my tossing aside St Paul's beloved epistle, saying,
You can't get better marriage advice than that...what more are you looking for?
Since then, many of those couples whose weddings we attending in that span of time
in a church-reception hall-baptism of first baby whirlwind have, sadly,
divorced... but I know it is due in large part to
the words spoken at our mass within the readings
the fact that we were married within our Catholic faith
that has kept us, from not throwing in the towel.
That, and the fact, that we do actually still like each other.
The essence of being
patient, kind, not envious, proud, or boastful, as
St Paul explained the meaning of "love" allllll those years ago....?
Smart man, that St Paul.
My husband too.
Did I mention that I temporarily lost my sanity during wedding planning
and insisted we elope to Vegas
to be married by an Elvis impersonator?
Yeah, that didn't fly with my husband either and so we stuck with the
Now, I loathe to admit this.... that day nineteen years ago,
when we planned e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g, every last detail down to the
shade of ribbon chosen for the pew bows and the youthful
snapshots of each of us growing up as an intro to our wedding video....?
We overlooked a very important detail.....
perhaps the most important one.......
that we chose to be married, three days after the birth of our Lord,
the day that we in the Catholic faith
honor the defenseless babes mercilessly and cruelly slaughtered by decree of Herod.
We call this day the Feast of the Holy Innocents.
The best...THE absolute best reflection on this day is written by my friend,
click over and give it a read. Sue puts a unique
"spin" on the Holy Innocents that
I've never envisioned, in part, due
to a reenactment at church in which her kids were involved.....
Oh, I casually recognized Herod's savagery in the Gospel readings;
I absolutely did.
But did I truly ever feel the depth of compassion and remorse and,
well, anger...that I should have, that we all should have?
These were words that I read or listened to.
These were actions of a small - minded, threatened ruler two thousand years ago.
I'm ashamed to say...........
they were just words.
Not until three years later, when I lost my own baby...my first...through
the nightmare of miscarriage, did the horror of those sweet babies' mass killings
genuinely become clear to me...... along with another horror......:
My own apathy. And indifference. And insensitivity.
Happens easily doesn't it?
We need to work at it...becoming less self involved, more resolute, don't we?
Well, I do.
How easy to get caught up in the day to day and become focused on self.
Or the unimportant.
I like to think that in nineteen years, given the ups, downs, smiles, tears,
losses, triumphs and general maturity and of course forced selflessness
that comes with motherhood
.....that I've gotten better at being more
focused, more determined about the important.
which is my "word" for the year.
not a resolution, but a word, which summarizes the direction I'd
most like to take...the way I'd most like to think, act, live.
In so many arenas.
As the kids get older, recognizing that moments together are
fleeting and while me-time is essential to a degree.......
there is a finite number of days that remain together.
.So while time spent blogging may seem attractive ( and emotionally beneficial!)
and running errands, cleaning,
or lesson planning are all necessary ( ! ) ,
purposeful minutes, hours, days spent.........
in our homeschool,
or in joint endeavors as a family,
or, even chauffeuring the boys to events,
playing board games, watching movies, raking leaves, washing windows....
anything together..... and purposeful.....
is time that is better.
Better spent. Better used.
Every year, my friend Lisa,
of Home to 4 Kiddos, shares her word for the year.
I love reading her insight as well as that of the bloggers who join in.
This year, I'm finally linking up as well.
Please come on over and visit Lisa at her One Word hop....
be inspired and maybe share your word for 2016 as well!
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Until next time,